MAGPIE MOUNTAIN
Audio software that doesn't give a f*ck.
That's right. We swear. We're edgy.
Embedded Files
THE MAGPIE MOUNTAIN MANIFESTO
THE MAGPIE MOUNTAIN MANIFESTO
Magpie Mountain is a new way of doing music sample libraries, founded by industry veteran Alvin Spifftire. We're fearless and unafraid to tell it like it is — even if we ruffle some feathers and melt some snowflakes along the way. That's right: We go there, and we turn it up loud. And we've been cancelled for it.
Our story is Alvin's story. Alvin is all of us. Alvin is we. We were cancelled for telling it like it is about the woke mob's own attempted cancellation of the hardworking heir to an apartheid-era diamond mine. Reeling from our cancellation (we're so cancelled!), we retreated to the Australian Outback, climbed the first mountain we could find that wasn't on fire, screamed the C-word as loudly as we could, and got attacked by some birds for repeatedly eating eggs out of their nests.
And that's when, like a magpie talon to the face (they really are p*ssed now!), it hit us: a new calling. A new vision:
Sample libraries for YOU and only YOU.
(And us. And people like you. But not those other people.)
At Magpie Mountain, we believe that Flutes don't care about your feelings, that an English Horn is actually an Oboe, that vibrato causes atonality, that divorce and custody laws favor the mother in far too many cases... you get it. We get you.
Here at Magpie Mountain, we turn our volume up and make our voices heard — no woke social media manager mob here to politely ask us not to tweet in defense of apartheid from the company account. Nobody under 45 to question our world view. Nobody at the company who hasn't moved to a rural patch of the Australian outback after a nasty divorce, even!
Here we fight back against that which ruins music-making for real men (with beards and Gremmly® nominations). Because Magpie Mountain is about so much than music.
Here on the Mountain, We ask the tough questions of the elites who spew Marxist propaganda:
"Music is for everyone." —Oh, really? At what cost?
"You are upsetting me and everyone else here." —Triggered much? Why do you hate freedom?
"Your samples contain audible chair noise & coughing." —WE WILL NOT BE SILENCED!
Welcome to motherf*cking
MAGPIE MOUNTAIN. WE GET LOUD.
PRODUCTS
PRODUCTS
MAGPIE ONE
MAGPIE ONE
A Master Fader to rule them all — as simple and traditional as a home-cooked supper.
TRIGGERED STRINGS
TRIGGERED STRINGS
Identifies as an extremely slow attack speed.
14 WURLITZERS
14 WURLITZERS
The future of music-making, free to all† forever*.
TESTIMONIALS
TESTIMONIALS
Jean-Remy Smythe
Jean-Remy Smythe
Composer for Stage and Screen
"As a composer for stage and screen, I have deep respect for the longstanding traditions of Western Culture, and a yearning to see a future that returns to those glory days while retaining some sense of forward motion; one could say that Magpie Mountain is the Manifest Destiny of audio companies, seeking to reclaim the art of music from the vast uncolonized wilderness. Cheers to Alvin and the gang!"
Bogden Grimes
Bogden Grimes
Vintage Synth Enthusiast, Producer, & VI-Control Moderator
"I'm just glad someone out there is making Linux-compatible audio plug-ins for me to use in Reaper!"
We are legally required to disclose by the Deep State that Magpie Mountain Pty. is a fully-owned subsidiary of Spifftire LLC and that Alvin Spifftire retains sole ownership of both companies.
† Not free to everyone. * Magpie Mountain Pty. maintains no continued obligation to distribute or continue any of our free software.
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